It feels disingenuous to write an end of year post highlighting the authors and creators I have enjoyed this year – as when those people have become friends, confidantes and so much more over the past 12 months, it looks cliquey and insular.
But the majority of these friendships were borne through our writing – mutual interests and taste similarities. Looking at one whose work emulates everything you wish to be, or writes about engagements that had never crossed your mind, or even actively repulsed you until you took the time to read about the subject and suddenly your horizons were widened and the world looked like a much different, slightly more magical place.
So I am unashamedly a fan of the work of so many people I think I am allowed to call my friends – some of whom I am certainly afraid to ask for confirmation in case they look at me askance – which has largely facilitated our friendships/’friendships’.
Anyway, here is my year roundup, faves, whatevers:
If you have spent 24 hours idly noticing my tweets, I lavish attention/affection on Exhibit A and Livvy. There is good reason for this – multiple reasons including that they are both excellent people but also that our friendship has made me a less judgemental person by default.
I had historically viewed anything other than strictly monogamous relationships with suspicion and disgust. Occasional fantasies about a relationship where a voluptuous, thrilling third might make an appearance made my skin prickle and nausea flood my abdomen because more than two is not an acceptable number.
Did I know any people in polya/open/monogamish relationships? Only one, which had been such a horrible failure that it had put me off them for life, more or less. But this year, my opinion changed.
It was a slow change – afterall, we do not need to approve of everything our friends and loved ones do, only – once assured that they are safe and happy – leave them to get on with things as they see fit.
Then I read this post from Exhibit A – Scenes of a Sexual Nature and I was a little floored. Here were all the things I associated with loving relationships, only configured differently. Adoration of a partner, secret, tiny things about them only you will notice, blisteringly hot sex (something of a recurring theme, unsurprisingly), and the joy of experiencing them with someone else, where I had only been taught to expect jealousy and anger. Reading this, and reading it again right now, it is sublime.
Related to this is GOTN’s later post from September – Teach Me How to Feel Compersion. I might not ever feel this, or desire to feel this in my future relationships, but to know it is something woven into the fabric of some people I love and admire, and it is beautiful and wondrous, now makes me happy and excited rather than think I might be coming down with food poisoning.
Finally, on the subject of my ongoing education on all things open and multiple, this sweet post from Molly – A Kitten Abroad is a tiny insight into her world as her husband embarks on a relationship with his Kitten. And here again, the love radiating from her words (as well as the gorgeous picture of Cara) is quite something to behold.
2017 was a big year for me. I embarked on my first proper relationship, which was my first proper D/s relationship, I lost my virginity (even though we all know virginity is a construct), I went on holiday with a partner for the first time, I loved someone more than I ever had before and I loved being able to put their needs before my own.
But I do not get to have that person in my life any more, and sometimes reading about other peoples’ D/s relationships – especially those where the dynamic closely mirrored my own – was and still is difficult.
Amy published Bring The Collar as my own relationship was slowly being stripped away from me and I could not control or stop it. It was a hard read – and this relationship was dissimilar to mine, and I would never devalue Amy’s by implying our experiences were identical, but reading about a D/s breakup – and D/s breakups are different to vanilla ones when it comes to the agreement and reiteration of ownership and dedication – made me feel less alone in my pain.
Hannah gets her own section
ConfessHannah was the first Twitter kinkster I met; I still can’t quite believe it’s been a year since she visited me, and I took Sinful Sunday shots of her. She has been my greatest stupporter, professionally and emotionally, and every day I should be grateful that she exists.
Yorkshire Puddings was actually written last year for the GBBO erotica competition, but since Hannah got a shiny new website, I am counting it for 2017 as well and I couldn’t be happier – it’s a wickedly delicious tale that makes me wish someone was bringing me a roast dinner.
She also shines her light on me unflinchingly, which is unsurprising because she contains a galaxy of stars.
Misc Sexy Stuff – Writing
Misc Sexy Stuff – Photos
I am admittedly biased, but this photo from Livvy – Camraderie is brilliant (and yes, it was taken in my bathroom, and I need you all to come back mostly because you’re taller than me and the light above the bath has gone).
Searching for that photo, I was reminded of another of Livvy’s #SinfulSunday entries Northern Line, and then another Dollar reminding me of how awed I am by her openness and freeness. It is one of my intentions in 2018 to get to know her better.
The gorgeous Exposing40 provided some of my favourite photos ever, let alone of this year.
Do Not Delete strikes a cord, particularly as today I discovered a google backup of nearly every photograph I had managed to delete after much painful agonising because they featured M. It wasn’t so painful to be reminded of him, his beautiful smile and how beautiful he made me feel. Sometimes we are too quick to cut things from our lives without giving them their own time to exist.
Silken was breathtaking in its simplicity, and showcasing of a body that was like mine, and that I thought was gorgeous and unable to tear my eyes from. Both artist and model should hug themselves very tightly for giving us such a gift.
To round off, here are some folks who I love to interact with, who have made my year a happier, kinkier, better place and who I hope I get to see in person in 2018:
Missy Who does not have a blog, but may start one yet, and once you’ve seen her skillful photography you’ll wonder why she didn’t start one sooner
Eye (blog here) Who is so very full of love, wisdom and mischief, just seeing her on twitter brightens my day
Honey (blog here) Who provided me with my favourite photo of the year at the Sex Blogger Christmas Party this month
Lucy (blog here) Who wrote me a poem about fingering T Rexes and as such, has a part of my heart forever
Jadis (blog here) Who is very new but very wonderful and something of an erotica machine
Ros Who has been a fucking rock and a legend this year, a non-stop whirlwind of comedic power
Thank you all for being a part of my year.